This practice is connected to the Twelve Holy Nights, the mystical time „in-between the years“ that helps us wrap up and compost the old year and make room for the new one.
The Ritual of 13 Wishes is my favourite ritual at this time, as it is such a beautiful way to start the new year with a little help of the Universe :-)!
If you want to learn more about the Twelve Holy Nights, read THIS article (or watch the video that is linked), and if you want support and join me on the journey with daily emails, maybe THIS is for you!
The Gist of the Practice
Essentially, this is a fun little practice to call in your desires for the new year:
You write down 13 wishes, 12 of which are going to be burned over the course of the Twelve Holy Nights – these are the ones the Universe is going to help you take care of. The remaining 13th wish is the one, YOU will need to tend to :-)
Preparing the Ritual
Throughout December, you can already begin thinking of what you would like to have happen in the coming year and note down all the wishes and desires you have.
That can be material wishes (“a beautiful apartment by the sea”, “a new computer”) or immaterial ones (“health for myself and my loved ones”, “that I’m more compassionate with myself” or “world peace”). Or maybe there were a few things in the last year that didn’t work as you had hoped; experiences that helped you learn something about yourself, about others, about the world at large that you now want to turn into a wish for next year.
Simply listen to what comes up for you.
The way I celebrate the Twelve Holy Nights, the first Holy Night begins at midnight leading into December 25. So some time before December 25, go through your notes again and decide which 13 wishes are the most important or relevant for you.
Write them down on a piece of paper, a little distance apart, cut them out, fold them up and place them in a small box or bowl or simply into an envelope. Whatever you have at home and would like to use is great.
Additionally, you could write them down in a notebook – I find that very handy, because at the end of the year I can look back at them and see which desires I had at the beginning of the year, since those pieces of paper are going to be burned during the Twelve Holy Nights.
The idea is that your wish turns to smoke, rising up to the Universe, which in turn will take care of its fulfilment – magical, isn’t it? :-)
Engaging in the Ritual
From December 25 onwards, you pull one of the folded pieces of paper from your box, bowl or envelope every day for twelve consecutive days and burn it – without looking at the wish that was written down on it!!!
Imagine how the smoke rises up towards heaven, how the Universe takes over to take care of it. Feel that you now have one thing less on your to-do list to care for by yourself.
At the end of the Twelve Holy Nights, one single piece of paper remains. You can finally open it on January 6 – it’s the wish you have to take care of and tend to yourself during the upcoming year!
As you open it, notice what’s present in you. Excitement? Hope? Or rather a queasy feeling, because you have no idea (yet) how to turn it into your reality?
Take a deep breath and allow whatever is present to be here. Because I would like to share a thought with you:
This is not about rushing or doing something right away, to make the wish come true as soon as possible! We’re still deep in the resting phase of winter and now isn’t the time to put new things into action.
Neither do you have to “work hard” for the fulfilment of your wish! You’re responsible for its fulfilment, yes, but that can also mean asking the Universe for help. Or getting clear on the support you’ll need from other people.
Take small steps, baby steps, to prepare the soil in which the seed of your wish can take root and grow!
What do you do with your 13th wish?
First of all, turn your wish into a statement, an affirmation or a mantra. It needs to be formulated focusing on the positive (instead of denying the negative) and as if the wish had already come true, so in present tense:
“I don’t want to be hard on myself anymore.” turns into “I treat myself with loving compassion.”
Or “I wish for a computer.” becomes “I use a cutting-edge, new computer for my work.”
And then there are so many different possibilities how to keep that wish present in your mind:
For example, you could stick it to a wall calendar or into a journal you use on a regular basis. You could paste it onto a vision board or you put up little post-it notes all over the apartment. And it may also need a reminder in your phone.
Read the wish as often as you see fit and feel into what it sparks in you – it could be a little action step on the journey to its fulfilment. It doesn’t even have to be about “doing” anything. Listen to your intuition and what feels good, even if the message is “Make a cup of tea.”
Who knows, maybe on the way into the kitchen you’ll receive THE brilliant idea for your wish to come true ;-)
Tips for writing out your 13 Wishes
Through conversations with past participants and my own observations over the past eight years that I’ve engaged in this ritual, I know there are a couple of stumbling blocks that can derail us from actually writing down our wishes and desires. So here’s a few tips to make the process easier:
First and foremost:
Don’t get into your head about it! ;-)
You may be afraid of writing down the “wrong” wishes
Ask yourself, what makes a wish a “right” one? What does “right” mean to you? What does “right” feel like for you? How do you know a wish is “right”?
For me personally, I tend to sit down in a quiet space, preferably dark, and even close my eyes to block out all the voices and stimuli that might pull me away from my inner knowing. Then I ponder and feel into what I want for the next year and pay attention to how the wishes “sit”/”land” in my body.
Does my body feel calm and expansive? Then I’m on the “right” track. Does my nervous system sound an alarm? Then I have to first ask if that’s because my brain tells me the wish is “wrong” (due to what I think I “should” be wishing for) or if it’s really a physical reaction that I need to reassess the wish.
You may be afraid your wishes aren’t “profound” enough
There’s no rule that you need to wish for something profound. They can be very small and easy to fulfill, yet still be deeply meaningful for you.
You do this for yourself, to focus and reorient towards a life that’s meaningful to YOU, so as long as you feel good about a wish, that’s the only thing that matters!
You may be afraid of the overwhelm of how to “take care of it”
My best advice: Start small!
If your wish is to “declutter” your home or your life, you don’t need to declutter all rooms in one day. Maybe one bookshelf or one drawer is enough for today or for the week – you’re going to make more progress over time if the individual steps you take are teeny-tiny and seem like a breeze :-)
Oftentimes that’s the reason why you keep going, your motivation increases because it just felt so simple!
You may be afraid the wish is impossible
I always remember a participant and good friend of mine whose 13th leftover wish was for a friend to be healed from cancer, or at least have a good enough final time on Earth. How could she possibly take care of that?
I want to reiterate that just because you’re “responsible” for its fulfilment doesn’t mean you have to actively do anything, and also, you are allowed to reframe your wish.
So what my friend did was a) to ask the Universe for support (or God or Goddess or Source or the angels or whatever you believe in) and b) invite the friend over every week for a dinner-gathering to fill his last months with friendship and laughter.
Genius, if you ask me, and the best contribution she could have made!
Closing Words
Lastly, the fact that we’re talking about “wishes” doesn’t mean they’re wishful thinking and doesn’t mean they’re something that happens TO you. Maybe “desire” is a better word than “wish”, as it’s about giving you direction and focus to call in whatever it is that you want more of in your life.
As I said, wishes and desires do change, and you don’t need to stick with the wording you wrote down originally.
Take your personal power an authority back by (re)formulating the wish in a way that you can actively do something about it, can take small steps towards it.
Or think about a desire you have and what is within your control, what YOU can do to move towards it (and ask the Universe for support for the rest).
Or write them down as mantras (positive affirmations written in the present tense), so you can speak them into existence, day by day.
New beliefs are formed by repetition, after all :-)
