Sara B

This is a conversation with my dear client Sara, who suggested we did an interim reflection on her journey and what has changed for her after just two months of working together.

We hope it’ll give you an impression of what it could be like to work with me, if you think I could be the one to support you in your life – whether in your menstrual health, in your (peri)menopausal health or through any sort of life transition.

Lisa: Let’s start at the beginning: Where were you at when you reached out to me and we started working together two months ago?

Sara: Really, Lisa, I was at a complete crossroads. Except where a crossroads would normally have some sort of clear pointers, some clear signs about what the choices were with which way to go, for me, I was at the crossroads but the signposts just weren’t there.

And it felt like I was staring into an abyss. All I could see ahead of me was just this empty space. I wouldn’t necessarily say a dark empty space but just an empty space of “I’m at this crossroads. I have to make some really big decisions in my life now going forward, but really just need some help to be able to trust myself with knowing which direction to go in.”

I had just recently closed a business. My son had left home, so a bit of empty nesting going on there as well. Needing to make some big decisions in my life about where to go from here, but feeling powerless to know where to start looking.

Lisa: Yeah, the future is unknown and that can feel scary even though it’s not dark. There is also possibility, but it’s good to have someone by your side so you’re not so alone. Why did you choose to reach out to me?

Sara: Obviously I’d had the pleasure of meeting you before. You invited me to be a guest on your summit, then we had the storytelling circle, which was terrific. And I just love how passionate you are about what you do and how you help women, but you’re also very compassionate as well, like on a one-to-one within the sessions.

So I get from you just the right combination of a gentle approach, but nevertheless a very guiding, a kind of a gentle strength, and that’s what I need!

If someone presented to me as, “Right, come on, we’re gonna do this!” that would unsettle me. So I know that I need a certain type of approach and I get that from you. And I sensed that from you the very first time we met, actually

Lisa: Thank you. So, we’ve only met four times for coaching, it was every other week. And what has shifted for you in these two months so far?

Sara: Gosh, where to start? What I’ve really come to realize is how strong I already am, but I wasn’t connecting to that.

But also the Soul-based Coaching in particular – I didn’t know anything about it before, so I was intrigued to find out what it was about. But I now have such a visual blueprint of myself.

So over a couple of sessions, I left the session with a visual blueprint of where I was in my life at that time and where I felt comfortable and what my safe place was. And then we moved it on a step further to the journey: Could I see where I wanted to get to and what would that sort of transition look like? And then in the last session, arriving somewhere. So I have three really clear visual blueprints, literally pictures that I created in my mind, but with your guidance and your support and the meditative practices that we go on, in that Soul-based Coaching session.

And for me, being a visual learner and a visual thinker, to have those images now, which I know will stay with me for the rest of my life, it’s like having a fresco picture, but for my soul. That’s how I feel. I feel that if my soul was a fresco painting where it tells a story and you can follow and see the story, that’s what I now have. And that is amazing.

And I didn’t know before we started the coaching, I had no idea that I would leave the sessions with something so powerful. And truly, I know those images will stay with me.

Lisa: Yeah, that’s the amazing thing: They come from within you. I’m asking questions that are non-invasive, that don’t bring in my own interpretation, so I can always trust that these images, they have been inside of you. And that’s why I say the power and the wisdom, they lie inside of you. And I just have to ask a few questions and suddenly you become aware of it.

Sara: Yeah, that’s right. And I think it’s because those images came from within me, that’s why I know they will stay with me for the rest of my life. If they had been someone else’s images, I wouldn’t see them so clearly and I wouldn’t remember them so clearly.

Lisa: Has also something changed in your actual life circumstances, in your day-to-day life so far?

Sara: What I’m sensing about myself now, is that I can definitely hold my space more effectively. I really feel like my feet are on the ground now. I feel my connection with the earth more strongly now, feeling the earth under my feet. That gives me the strength to stand in my space and to hold my space better, even when that sometimes feels uncomfortable.

I’m someone who had weak boundaries before, people pleasing tendencies, things that are very common … people that are empathic often show up as having weak boundaries and people pleasing tendencies. So that is my natural default position.

But I feel now, because I can stand in my space with more strength, that I can sit with uncomfortable feelings, even in the presence of someone else that has or had the ability to trigger uncomfortable feelings in me. I just find I can sit with those uncomfortable feelings more effectively now.

Still a work in progress, it will be for a long time. But I know now that I can do it and I’m learning the skills to be able to do that, by having that stronger sense of myself I have the courage to stand in my space with more effect.

Lisa: And if I may reflect that back: You know your truth, you know what you want. And now you also know how to hold the others lovingly when they disagree with what you want or want to question it, because you understand they want to protect you. And you nonetheless can go after what you want for your life. Is that right?

Sara: Absolutely, 100%. And that was the main reason that I came to you, the main thing that I knew that I needed support with, was being able to firstly, learn how to connect inwardly because I’ve always found that very, very difficult. I’m learning how to do that. And so from that, I knew that I needed help to really trust in myself.

And that’s where those visual images are so helpful, because I know now, even when I start to waver or I can hear the other voices either in my head or because they’re real, I can still lovingly still holding those people and those voices, but know that I need to listen to my own voice first.

And I think one of the reasons why I found it so hard to reach out for help before is because I need to feel so safe. Because I have a nervous system that is very sensitive and very easily triggered. I’ve naturally become very vigilant, on high alert all the time. So for me, I need to feel very, very safe in order to really go inward. And I know from those visual blueprints that I was able to create, those for me are the evidence of how safe I must have felt.

Lisa: What difference has it made to have me by your side in going through such a process? Because I fully believe that you can do these things on your own, and also it can be easier when there is someone by your side. But what was your experience of having someone by your side?

Sara: Well, I’ve tried it both ways. So I’ve been interested in self-help for a very long time, and I had already done quite a lot of self-help, but it had really been around identifying that I have had weak boundaries and the people pleasing tendencies.

So I had learned to recognize all of that, I had learned to recognize narcissistic behavior, because that’s been something that has impacted my life hugely, but I hadn’t been able to get any further. And I recognized that I hadn’t been able to get any further because although I had this knowledge about myself, I didn’t know how to use that to propel myself forwards into what it is that I really want.

So having you there, it’s like having a magnetic pathway now, that’s the influence that you’ve had for me. Helping me to create this magnetic pathway, so when I drift or when I wander from it, that pathway is there now, pulling me back. Back onto the right path, the right path for me.

And I also have ADHD, so I’m easily distracted. So having you there, helps to keep me focused because I know we’ve got a session coming up. And after a session, you will send me an email with a summary of what we’ve achieved in that session and some little play work exercises to see me through for the next session.

You’ll also check in on me, which is fantastic, because I need that. Partly because I get distracted, but also because I’ve spent so long feeling on my own with all of this. I became very resilient and always had a very strong relationship with myself, but I just haven’t known to trust it, and that’s a big difference.

Having you there also helps from the validation perspective. I feel validated every time I turn up to a session with you, because I know that – well, you always say “All of you is welcome.” And whatever I turn up with, however I arrive to that session, if I’m feeling anxious or triggered or however I’m feeling, you welcome all of that. And just even that is just so, so validating.

Lisa: Yeah, and I like to say that there is some sort of healing that can only happen with another person, because the wound that was inflicted, came in relationship with another person. So you need a different relationship to help it heal.

And so from your perspective right now, who would you recommend me to or in which situations would you recommend working with me?

Sara: I would love everyone to be able to work with you, but you wouldn’t be able to share yourself around with everybody.

I would say anyone who is in a similar situation to myself. I don’t think it’s at all uncommon for women in midlife, maybe men too, but I’m a woman, to find themselves at this crossroads. Especially women who have also got a neurodivergent diagnosis.

So anyone who has started that journey of looking inward for some answers and some guidance, but hasn’t been able to get much further than that. And you explained it so well just then, that actually the type of healing that’s needed in order to then move forwards, actually does require the input from, or the assistance of another person.

The presence, the physical presence of a compassionate witness. You know, I hadn’t thought of it that way until you used that word when we first worked together.

And truly, even having my own words reflected back to me, but having them reflected back to me by another voice and maybe putting a slightly different emphasis on a word, that is very powerful! So I know they’re my words, but hearing them from someone else gives me permission to believe them.

And it’s sad that we don’t believe our own voices, but so often we don’t.

So I could recommend you to everybody, but certainly anybody in my shoes that has found themselves at a point in their life where something needs to shift, something needs to change, there’s some big decisions to make. And just having that support to find the courage to trust our own wisdom about what’s right for us.

In case you as the reader, listener or watcher are intrigued and interested now:

I am a Menstrual and (Peri)Menopausal Health Specialist and a confidante through life transitions – because very often the life transitions we go through are connected to our menstrual or (peri)menopausal health.

It’s these moments where one version of yourself needs to go, or parts of yourself need to die in order to make space for something even better. It doesn’t mean the others weren’t good or enjoyable, but it’s time for something even better.

And so often these moments of deep crisis – spiritual crisis, psycho-emotional crisis, miscarriage, sexuality, empty nest, but also becoming a parent in the first place, the perimenopausal transition – are connected to your cycle, to your cyclical nature.

So if you think that I could be the one supporting you through a moment of darkness, doubt or transition, book your free consultation!
It’s a call without obligation; we’ll simply connect over a cuppa, look at your current situation, envision where you’d like to be 3-6 months from now and discuss if working together would be a good next step for you.

If it’s not, I’m more than happy to simply point you to some further resources, so full permission to turn me down! This is your opportunity to feel seen and heard and validated: